you dash behind a pillar beside the entrance to the room, and peek from behind it as the cult enters. you begin to make out their chant "and i, oh, i, will always love you - praise her." in a solemn, soulless melody. they are cloaked in black robes, in a line of two either side, led by a tall, hooded figure. the other cult members wear a green mask, bearing a single eye and a haunting smile. the figure leading them is carrying a small, ornate, black stool with a green cloth draped over - something. they approach the structure in the centre of the room, and form a circle around its edge, there's around 20 of them. the tall one places the stool upon a pedestal, raises her arms, and the chanting stops. suddenly, they let out an unearthly shriek like nothing you've ever heard. a roaring green flame bursts from the green pool in the middle of the structure, and the members join hands. they begin to circle the flame, chanting "we will dance with somebody. somebody who loves us. we will dance with somebody. somebody who loves us." and the tallest one takes down her hood, and reveals a face of pure evil. a thin, skeletal face with empty, white eyes, and a nose like Pinocchio with a cold. she whips the cloth away and - IT'S CARDBOARD. she rests on the cushion, preparing for death. you can't hold back, you leap out from behind the pillar and draw your whisk. "by the name of Mary and the Great One, i order you to stop or i WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!" you cry. Bertha jumps out from the opposite pillar, and the tall one stares at her, shocked.
"BERTHA - you wench! you betrayer, you.. YOU INFIDEL!"
"oh shut up you silly old bat, i'm tired of your evildoings! all you've done has placed a curse on Whitney's name! give it up."
"who is she?" you ask, glancing at Bertha
"the Satanic Nun, leader of the cult, and the root of all their power." she replies
"and the one who shall bring your demise, foolish child!" she raises into the air, arms outstretched, her habit billowing behind her.
"state your intent at once!" she yells, in a dark twisted voice, as if three voices are screaming at once.
"I'M HERE TO TAKE BACK CARDBOARD!"
"the cat. you want the cat?" she laughs, and the cult joins her, but they don't actually laugh, just sort of say "h a h a h a" in unison, it's quite disturbing actually.
"indeed we do, and we're taking you with us!" Bertha yells, jumping into a karate pose.
"well in that case, prepare to face the mighty, undying wrath of the SATANIC CULT OF WHITNEY HOUSTON. OUR LORD, OUR REASON, OUR QUEEN!!! SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!!!!"